this below is what I am returning too..thanks to all for sending healing.
Dear Friends,
If you send advice make it kind and gentle as my situation here has been nervracking too.
Yesterday at night I recieved an unpleasant e-mail from Tanya..which stated I would not have a day to rest but rather would be expected to wake up an immediately start looking for a job. This very much upset me.
Benny( My friend who I will stay with) as macho as he is has a heart of gold..and is a loving individual (hard on the outside kind on the inside. I detest agressive men and women..I have met this woman,(Tanya, his live in girlfriend) and she has gotten in my face...no one man or woman has ever gotten in my face..she is rude.abrassive.dispassionate torwards anyone but hereself...Susi even hates her. It is my friends Benny's house, she was out of work for 6 months ..he paid for her new car payments insurance her 3 kids and at Chrismas bought her extended family and all her children elaberate gifts...she took that long to find a job and should know what it is like out there.
I do not like men like this either..I detest anyone who does not try to obey the ggolden rule.
No I have known strong powerful women who I have loved....so strong and powerful do not equal Heartless, agressive and mean person of the year award......I thought I had told you of my reservations of going home because of this woman..one night I went to a party at Benny's she got mad ( because he was taking pictures of people there including women)and stormed off in her car later to return she tore up a privacy fence gate by the posts and slashed the sliding screen windows breaking the glass to get in and further argue with Benny who had done NOTHING!...No one understands why Benny stays with her as he is a mans man and friends with women.....so yes her e-mail ( a rather mean and heartless one sent to me last night )had a subtext of we want you to find a job and get out of here as soon as possible. Benny lived with my cousin Rita for 7 years so I am a relative of his ex..also Benny's exwife is cousins to Tanya..all too too Jerry springer about her.

Last night said good bye to my friend,Ove, my friend from sweden I knew 25 years ago...he had champagne for me and we talked for 2 hours...it was calming and peaceful.
His mother was a groupie andhis 1/2 brother is the son of the base player from Abba..I knew his mother she often wrote me and I loved her.
Coincidently she died the same year as my mother.
Ove's father is also on wife #5 like my dad and he suffers from depression and anxiety..when we get together it is always good..always posssitive..sad to say good bye to him very sad.
so I wanted to write you and see if your ok and to tell you only some of tanyas violent behaviour and past. and why I have these feers of going home. I will be possitive and do my best....even though her e-mail indicated she wanted me to look for a job the day after my flight 9 hours and total trip time from my door here in sweded to their door..about 16-16 hours. My time it will be10:30 pm (swedish time) there time about 3:30.
I know I am leaving one hell for another but at least they speak english and I can leave in my truck.
Sorry this e-mail is half hazzard but I am nerve wracked and panicked,
I wish we all could see each others pasts. It might makes us all more kind and understanding towards each other..and might make advice more sound and gentle.
Right now, my nerves are bad but after her e-mail, i simply have hit rock bottom, and don't care what happens to me.
Peace and love to everybody,
Thank you for being a friend,
Kalona/Frank